9 Ways to Get Yourself Fired

Somehow I missed this post from BuzzFeed, but my friend Kathy Newman brought it to my attention. It’s a list of “9 really weird reasons for getting fired.” Here are three of my favorites:

  • sending emails in all caps
  • shaving your head for charity
  • wearing a Green Bay Packers tie in a Chicago office filled with Bears fans

With my hatred of all things sports, the last is kind of a twofer for me.


  1. Brahmski August 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm | #

    Hatred of SPORTS? What else do you hate? SEX, MUSIC, TREES…SUNSETS… Why hate sports of all things? Athletes are magnificent. (I’m sure they’re exploited or exploiting, but then so am I and I can’t do anything on a pommel horse anyone would ever want to see. Or they’re commodified or something. Well, duh. But there is such a thing as sheer greatness and beauty and physical genius.) Go Team USA! Go Jen & April–American women’s beach volleyball! Corey hates you but I don’t. I love you.

    • Mike Fennell August 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm | #

      Yeah I have to say “my hatred of all things sports” is one of the dumbest things I’ve heard in awhile.

      Look at it this way: Forget the business and the entire context for a minute, and take in the thing itself. Scotty Pippen running up and down a floor is, just beautiful. Greg Maddux throwing a baseball or Tony Gwynn hitting one . . . somebody, anybody actually clearing 8′ in the high jump – these things are wonders in and of themselves.
      In that sense to say you hate all things sport is like saying you hate art or music or the night sky.

      • David Kaib August 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm | #

        Just so we’re clear, your calling it dumb that someone has a different subjective experience of something aesthetic then you?

        Also, when you say forget some element of the thing referenced, you’re now talking about something different than what was originally referenced. That the mere physical movements involved are wondrous is irrelevant to judging the thing as a whole. The action of throwing a ball isn’t the sport of baseball.

  2. Kathy M. Newman August 7, 2012 at 11:44 am | #

    Hi Corey: You might be amused to know that I found that story by Googling things like “crazy ways to get fired” and “bosses going too far.”

    • jonnybutter August 7, 2012 at 3:27 pm | #

      It’s like a ‘zany’ Yahoo story or whatever! “Can you imagine getting fired for not liking sports?! Well, read on….!”

      Honestly, I would bet that a large chunk of average people just assume that it is much harder to fire people than it really is.

  3. msobel August 7, 2012 at 3:46 pm | #

    Number 8 seems to have some sense behind it. Perhaps some counseling. Or maybe he was fired for not using his taser

  4. Mark August 7, 2012 at 10:14 pm | #

    “The more violent the body contact of the sports you watch, the lower your class.”
    ― Paul Fussell

    Fussell’s classic book on class explains why proles feel the urge to wear sport-related clothing. Hating sports is a good strategy to avoid making inadvertent class errors.

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